Becky's Bookshelf

How to Communicate with Confidence by Mike Bechtle

This book interests me very much.  I think children used to hear more conversation in the home and girls were taught about being good at conversation to obtain a good suitor. 
There are three approaches to having a conversation:

1. Focus on what I can bring to the Conversation
2. Focus on what you can bring to the Conversation
3. Focus on our common ground 

What I can bring to the conversation provides the tools for exploring what you can bring to the conversation, but our common ground provides the most natural areas to begin our conversation. 



October 30, 2014

I was immediately pulled into the narrative by the title of Chapter 1: Conversation-One Size Doesn't Fit All. Some of the subtitles:  You Can't Fake Genuine and You Can't Be Something You're Not!

More and more, in conversation, genuine is not acceptable. We must be sure to roll with the flow of "acceptable" wording. For instance, in response to the common phrase, "How are you?" only extremely positive responses like "super". "awesome" and "doing great" are acceptable now days.  Even I'm doing good isn't acceptable anymore - I got corrected on that recently:  "Just doing good???  How about great!?"  If we say it, it makes it so, right?  When did "good" turn into bad anyway? It's even cool to be less than genuine in our compliments.  For instance if we want to commend a child on a job well done about the only acceptable phrase is "That's perfect!"  Message to our children: Perfection is the goal here! or "Do the job anyway you want and I will still proclaim it is perfect!"

On to the second chapter - Function Uniquely.  Some of the subtitles are: Unique by Design, The Magic of Uniqueness, Different Strokes, and Making Magic:  What?  Aren't we all suppose to be just like the rich and famous? 

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 2: "I believe God created each of us to be unique.  Our personalities are different by design.  The richness in our lives comes from those differences.  Sometimes it's easy to take our uniqueness for granted.  It's not just snowflakes and fingerprints that are unique; each of us has a unique blend of physical characteristics and personality styles.  We weren't created from a template or an assembly line.  We're a unique combination of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual characteristics that is different from every other person.  We are a one-of-a-kind work of art, which means we each have a unique purpose to offer that no one else has. 

The psalmist said, " you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb (Ps. 139:13)  I believe God custom-designed each of us with a unique blend of physical characteristics and personality styles.  Design implies function, which means that the uniqueness of our design implies the uniqueness of our function.  Nobody else  is like you, so you'll be most effective when you function out of your unique design.

If we were all the same, conversation would be like talking to ourselves. Instead, the more differences there are between people, the more ingredients can be added to the conversation."

 - How to Communicate with Confidence by Mike Bechtle