The Burdens In My Backpack by Becky Benedict

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier
To take it up that hill each day.
In it was my lunch, a simple necessity,
Even in my ominous place of destination:
Thousands of books and wondrous collections of artifacts,
Minds engulfed in learning
And world views being supported or formed.
I was a librarian, surrounded every day
With awesome, awful, terrifying and wonderful stories and information
To answer a question, support or deny a view,
Be entertained or just browse through.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it up that hill each day,
With my extra pair of shoes in it that I'd need
When my feet began to hurt later in the day,
As I would serve the students who would come asking for help.
Searching for the information they must find,
Those students would expend themselves,
Trying to ingest it well enough to write their paper or pass a coming exam.
Even when they preferred to be out running around with their friends in a less nobel pursuit,
This was what the dream they were chasing required!

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it up that hill each day.
In it I carried a Bible, inspirational reads, or personal development reads,
Something good to think on when I took my lunch break each day.
I'd do my best to locate the requested resources and prepare them for use
To support this faculty of higher education,
Those shaping many young minds and helping them prepare for a successful future.
Many of the faculty gave their best to their profession
And became beacons of light to the students although often,
I felt remorse to see the unethical, anti Christian, impure and ignoble views and ideas
Pressed upon these young minds through resources demanded by the instructors.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it down that hill on that day.
It was a great and glorious day; a sad and sorrowful day,
Five years of my life invested in the lives of the young and older,
Who saw visions and dreamed dreams
And had hopes and great expectations for their futures,
A few just trying to survive the day or find solutions to their personal challenges,
Those I tried to encourage on days they felt sad, disappointed or mistreated,
Several who will always hold a special place that loves them in my heart.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it down that hill on that day.
After I'd placed in it my personal files,
Which told the story of goals I had set and many of them completed,
Projects I was proud I'd been significantly involved in,
Representing good memories of team efforts
with colleagues I'd respected for their knowledge and sharing.
Cards of appreciation, encouragement and friendship
That added value to my days there and made it worth the doing.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it down that hill on that day
I cleared my desk of all personal items,
Tears dropping on my desk calendar pad as I placed these things in my backpack.
Hugs, a cake and kind encouraging words from the true friends I had there.
Nice best wishes from those who were glad to see me leaving,
But maybe wondering if their pursuit to see me gone
Had turned out to be the victory they were so determined to obtain.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels
Because it made it easier to take it down that hill on that day.
When I was realizing that, in an effort to be the best worker I could be
I had been pressed to be what I could never really be -
An undercover agent and an office politician!
Write page after page of documentation as proof of
Coworkers inabilities, unprofessionalism, insubordination or other office crimes,
Learn when to present myself strong, demanding and sure,
Or when to cower down instead of standing up for what I really thought or believed! 
Only I and my God know how grieved my soul had become
By trying to gain or keep their respect and keep my job secure.
And I was glad it was over as I left through the staff exit door on that day,

I put it in the trashcan!
And pulled my backpack down that hill.

I'm glad my backpack had wheels 
Because, loaded with my personal items and files,
It was easier to pull it into my house and store it in a closet on that day,

Because I could not, in my grief, sort and put those things away.
For five years now, in the closet it has stayed
And the burdens of memories it holds has penetrated me many days and nights.
But I've come to realize,  I've carried those burdens in my backpack long enough!
I shall sort through it and save only my awards, certificates
And notes or cards of appreciation!
Thank God, He is ridding me of this burden
Of my backpack filled with memories of pain
Which I will never have to pull up or down that hill again!

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